id be glad to
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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