; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
