He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
