Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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