I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
