Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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