Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
