hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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