threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
