U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
