You made me cry and you don't even care
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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