Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
