like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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