im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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