it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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