It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
