Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The power of my boobs compel you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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