i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
