Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
