think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
