so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
