my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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