First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
