at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
