Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
