I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
