I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
