fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
