How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
