Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
