I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
