Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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