K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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