who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
