Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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