So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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