My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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