I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
