Swine flu. Run for my life!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
