Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
