The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
