Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
