Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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