Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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