Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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