I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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