those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
