You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
