Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
