why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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